As one would figure, taking four seminary classes and working 20 hours a week can be a bit overwhelming. This past week was very stressful. I worked four hours Monday from 9 to 1, then had class directly after that until 4:15. Tuesday I had classes all day, and Wednesday ended up being much more packed than I had expected. In the morning, we had Eucharist in the campus chapel, then we had our 'class' meetings. Directly after our class meeting we had to go to our Advisee groups, which will continue to meet throughout the semester and finally I worked four more hours, from 1 to 5 this time.
On Thursday, after my class in the morning, I went to the library to go over all of the things I have to do. Readings, worksheets, quizzes, papers... it seemed like far too much. On top of that, half of the things I had to do weren't even things we had covered in class. I spent five to six hours in the library trying to make a dent in the massive amounts of schoolwork I had to get done, and left feeling like I hadn't managed much at all. Friday, I had to work all day, from 9 to 7, so I didn't have a chance to do any more of the work I had left.
That night I sat in my house, playing guitar and doing my best to keep my mind off of all that was left to be completed. I got to bed near midnight or 30 after, and the next morning, went back in to work for my three hour shift from 9 to 12. When I got home, I laid myself down in bed and got a little rest in before going back to the books. It was during this time that I was able to finally calm down and think clearly about what had to be done. I hadn't eaten since lunch the previous day, so the first thing I did was go down to the kitchen and eat. I then packed my stuff and walked down to the library. With my clearer state of mind, I allowed myself to focus on just one thing at a time. I decided only to work on my Early Church readings, which I would need to turn a quiz on before the next class for and not busy myself with anything else for the moment. I did about an hour of work, which got me through half of the required readings (I could only do this much because the library closes four hours earlier on Saturdays which I didn't know), and then I went home and studied the vocabulary for my Hebrew quiz this coming week.
Though I spent much less time doing my work, I felt much more accomplished than I had in my previous visit to the library. Divvying up the work allowed me to free myself of the hassle of the whole load, and focus on just a small portion of it at a time. Without the constant distraction of what else had to be done, I could take my time and do my work without worrying about what else had to be done. Today after church, I finished the readings I have for my Spiritual Formation class tomorrow, and will probably do some more later tonight for my Biblical Interpretation class. I will then finish up my Early Church readings tomorrow after class is finished, and not worry about my World Missions readings until after those are completed (it isn't until Thursday).
It's amazing how easy it is to be overwhelmed and how, with a little time and focus, those burdens can be chipped away at quite easily. I would like to say that this philosophy could apply to all of life. A lot of times we can only see the big picture of things; how everything is going wrong all the time. But worrying has never added a day to our lives, so it is important not to get too caught up by the pressures of all that needs to be done. Instead, we just need to take our burdens-- and life-- one step at a time. Complete the first task and then move on to the next. To know that trying to finish everything at once will only make things worse.
Also, it is important to rely on others to help you through the hard times. Having somebody else there for you can keep you sane long enough to figure out what needs to be done. Friday night, before going up to bed, my roommate came home and we talked for a good bit of time about all that I had to get done. Just having someone who would listen was help enough for me, and he also gave me encouragement to get through it. We must never forget that we have others around us to help along the way. And also that there are others who need our help as well.
This coming semester (and presumably the next three years) is not going to let up. I will continue to have this work schedule, and my class will only get more intense as time wears on. But, I must remember to take this one step at a time. I did not go to seminary to be burdened, but to learn and grow. It is easy to get caught up with the workload and only see what needs to get done. But, then I would forget the purpose behind these classes. My goal doesn't lie somewhere far beyond seminary, but within and through it. This is not a trial on the way to my true calling, but a very integral part of that very calling. These are formative years, where my spiritual and intellectual understanding can reach new heights. But, if I only remain worried about what I need to do and not the reason behind why I am doing it, it will all be for naught. I will not have learned anything, but only received a degree; a piece of paper that says I went to school for the required number of hours.
Taken a step at a time, we can explore the depths of those things which we call burdens and see them as blessings-- or at the very least, as lessons we can carry with us the rest of our lives. All it takes is the focus and clarity that comes with a rational mindset. We must rest ourselves and come at them in a calmed manner, so that we can do all things-- one step at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment