Luke 14:25-35 Audio
When I first came to
seminary, I knew I was facing a daunting task. I came knowing I
wanted to follow Jesus, but didn't have a clear vision as to what
that following might look like. During my first semester, I was
working part-time 25 hours a week on top of four classes, and I came
very close to giving up completely at times. Now, three years later,
I find myself still working toward the degree I was originally going
to finish this past May. At times, I've questioned my decision to
come to seminary, and even now I have further decisions to make about
my future—where I'll go and what I'll be doing. It's at this point
that I really resonate with the Apostle Paul when he says, “I press
on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Jesus
Christ.”
In some ways, it's
actually more difficult for me to press on toward my goal now that
I'm in my final semester. When I first began, everything was new, I
had no idea what was ahead of me and the mystery and excitement of it
all kept me going. Now, I have a pretty firm grasp on what's going on
around here. And while taking two classes with Phil Harrold can feel
like facing 20,000 soldiers with only 10,000, I'm just slowly
pressing on toward my goal and each paper is getting harder to find
the motivation to write. And this pressing on is what eats away at me
more than anything else.
It's like when you have
to heal after an injury. Now, I've made a few trips to the ER in my
life. I've dislocated both kneecaps, had a mild concussion, and
gotten two teeth knocked out, among other things. The worst part of
the experience isn't the moment those terrible things happen. The
pain is big and sudden and definitely not something I want to go
through again. But the worst part comes after you leave the emergency
room. It's having to go through the healing process. It's dealing
with the constant struggle of having to press on toward your goal,
with some part of you knowing that you will never be fully healed in
this life time. I still deal with issues from those injuries I've
gotten, dating back to high school.
Pressing on can be
difficult. It could be dealing with sickness, being consistently
overworked, or just barely covering the bills every month. At some
point it just becomes tiresome and you want to throw your hands in
the air and yell out, “I give up! I'm done!” I remember going to
rehab after my knee injuries and just thinking to myself, “I can't
believe I have to do this.” I was putting all of this work in just
so I could be normal again.
The reason I share this
with you is because in order to understand what it means to follow
Jesus, we need to understand what it means to be broken. When we
follow Jesus, we do so because we need him to heal us. But we aren't
suddenly healed of every sin and infirmity in our lives the moment we
decide to follow him. What does happen, is Jesus promises that he
will be with us throughout the healing process. In fact, he is
the healing process, and without him there is no healing. But healing
requires rehab, and the same frustrations that come with trying to
walk when you used to run is what we're dealing with when it comes
following Jesus—only we actually haven't ever known what it's like
to truly run.
There's
a funny thing about Jesus' parable on the cost of following him. In
both the case of the builder and the king, they are unable to meet
the cost it would take to either finish the tower or face the
oncoming army. It then sounds like Jesus is saying “if you can't
afford to follow me, then turn away! It's not worth being embarrassed
when you'll have to go back home.” But before this parable is the
parable of the great banquet, where the man invited all the “poor
and crippled and blind and lame.” None of those who were invited
could ever pay this man back for the great feast he had set before
them.
When
we read about the cost of discipleship, we shouldn't despair when we
find we can't pay the cost, but rejoice because the cost has already
been paid and turn to the one who invites us to his feast with
praise. Jesus is saying to us, “You're right. You cannot pay the
cost. You cannot complete the tower. You will fail against the
oncoming army. Either be a fool and attempt to take on that which you
cannot overcome, or give up everything and follow me. Then I will
overcome those things for you.”
Jesus
affirms that “in the world you will have tribulation.” Those
tribulations can take every ounce of energy we have and drain us
until we give in and walk away. “But take heart,” he says, “I
have overcome the world.”
Following
Jesus is difficult. And those frustrations of everyday life can sap
us of our energy until we are just working to get by. We are living a
perfect analogy of that by our decision to come to seminary. We've
decided to follow his call by coming here, setting aside our lives
for the two or three or seven years it will take to get our degrees.
We must count the cost of what that means for us. We must realize the
change in the trajectory of our lives that decision initiates. And as
we inevitably reach those weeks where we feel overwhelmed by our
work, by our being away from home, by our slowly losing the memory of
life outside of Ambridge, we need to remember to turn to God for our
help through these trials.
So,
as I prepare to finish my time in seminary, I say to you like the
apostle Paul to Timothy, “I have fought the good fight, I have
finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up
for me” a Trinity School for Ministry diploma.
Don't
be discouraged. Most of all don't turn to your own strength when you
experience hardships and tribulation. Turn to Jesus and let him heal
you. I know it's frustrating and difficult. I know it's overwhelming
and sometimes you just want to run away. But God is faithful. And he
is good. You can turn to him for your strength.
