The Philosophy of Simpleness

Probably the most common compliment I receive from customers at work is about the cross I wear around my neck. It is a simple wooden cross tied to a black thread, with nothing about it that would stand out. In fact, it came apart once already, and I had to superglue it back together. I always thought the story of how I got this cross would make for a great sermon illustration should that time ever come.

Way back when, while I was still in school at Florida State, I went out to lunch with my friend Hannah Nelson. We went to Pitaria, a Greek-style restaurant and local favorite of the Tallahassee college community to catch up on how each of our lives had been going. After lunch, we headed back toward the parking lot behind the building, and a homeless man was sitting down on the edge of the window outside Gumby's Pizza, which was right next door to Pitaria. He stopped us, and asked us if we could spare some change for him to buy something to eat. I saw that he had a pack of beer sitting on the ground next to him, so I offered, rather, to buy him a meal instead. He gratefully accepted, and we walked back in to Pitaria, where he ordered his meal and I paid. We sat down with him once he found a table, and he seemed pretty perplexed as to why we stayed with him after paying for his meal, and even told us we could leave if we wanted to. Instead, we opted to sit with him as he ate his meal, and asked about where he came from and what he was doing in Tallahassee.

As the story goes, he was a wanderer named John Brown from another part of the country (I can't remember where), and he had been traveling for a long time before landing in Tallahassee. When he finished the meal, he wanted to pay me back in some way, but I told him that it wasn't necessary. He kept insisting, trying to find something that he can pay me back with, emptying out all his pockets. Eventually, he took off the cross that hung around his neck. He said that a pastor had given it to him in another town he passed through, but that he wanted me to have it. At first I was hesitant, but received the cross from him and pulled it down around my own neck.

The thoughts that stemmed from this transaction didn't come until a little while later. At first, I just thought it was nice to have a cross since the thread of my last one had snapped, though the thought of what kind of germs could be infesting its beams did happen to come to mind. But it was those very "icky" things about it that ended up giving it a real value for me. The cross around my neck was now more than just a symbol that I follow Jesus, it was an embodiment of the true Cross, itself. When I put the cross on around my neck, I put on also all of the dirt and grime of John. No doubt, his sweat had soaked into the string as he walked down the Florida streets in the Summer heat, and the dirt of the park benches he slept on, at least in part, had crusted over the its pegs.

Isn't this the message of the Cross? That on the Cross, Jesus took on our dirt and grime and carried it himself. The toil and burdens that brought us to the place where we were in need of his help. He gave us the gift of sacrifice in the ultimate payment of death (much greater than the price of a lunch), and in return, all we had to offer back was our dirt, sweat and tears; the unsightliness that makes others glare and cringe at the sight of us. We emptied out our pockets only to find bent bottle caps and paperclips, and nothing else to pay back for what he has given us.

It does amaze me, though, that the simple wooden cross around my neck would continually garner compliments from passersby. It is not made of gold, it has no jewels, and does not hang on a finely woven chain. And yet, it impresses. It draws attention. I think it is this simpleness that truly reflects the gospel life. For, "all flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever."

Usually, when we seek attention for ourselves, we tend to run to those things that would be considered "flashy" but the attention that it draws is fleeting, and only lasts as long as those things we are using to gain it. If we want to attract others using our wealth, they will come only so long as we have our wealth. If we want to attract others with beauty, they will only come so long as we have our beauty. But if, instead, we shed those things and embrace the simpleness of the Cross, people will come for the authenticity found in such simpleness.

The gospel message, itself, is simple. That we cannot attract or pay back to God with the things we have. But, that instead what we must give him are the very things which make us cursed; our sinfulness and disobedience. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life." And the love of God does not come from our merit, but from our need. He longs to take care of us, and knows that we have nothing to impress him with. Instead, Jesus took upon himself the Cross which bore all of our sin and died for the sake of us. It is this act which brings him honor and and glory and praise from all peoples. It is the shedding of himself, the act of giving up his life for our sake which draws the world to him. It is with this act that he is raised and glorified in the highest degree and is seated at the right hand of God the Father.

What brings people to everlasting life is not the miracles and wonders and signs, but the Cross. The thing that brings glory in resurrection is not money and deeds, but submission to the Cross. Jesus submitted himself to the will of the Father, and "made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." All glory apart from this is vainglory and only a means of covering up our true selves from the sight of the world. But, the Gospel calls us to throw out all of this cover-up, and come to Jesus fully exposed, and allow him to cover us instead with his own glory, the glory which will never fade.

So then, what is it that draws us to simplicity? It is the freedom that comes with full exposure. It is knowing that we do not need to prove ourselves or exalt ourselves in the eyes of others. Instead, we come to the Cross as sinful, lowly creatures, and become aware of the vast void between us and God that has been created by our sin. That void, we continually try to fill, as if we were the children of a parent that only acknowledges those they deem worthy. But, Jesus is the only worthy one, and by his act, he has filled the void and given us access to the love of the One True God. By his taking on our sinfulness, we put on his righteousness.

The Cross is a call to step into the light of God and allow our sinful bodies to be exposed and shown for what they are. Rather than being covered with distracting gold and jewels, the Cross is bare, covered only in blood and sweat and grime. The cross is not a glorious thing, but the simplicity of the Cross brings glory through its vileness. By placing our burdens at the foot of the Cross, we can be free of the weight of the need for approval, knowing that we have already received the ultimate gift which cannot be paid back. Instead, all we are called to do is take off our covers and come in to the Light of the World, that we may finally receive life; and not by our own merits, but by the mercies and love of God.

The Philosophy of Focus

As one would figure, taking four seminary classes and working 20 hours a week can be a bit overwhelming. This past week was very stressful. I worked four hours Monday from 9 to 1, then had class directly after that until 4:15. Tuesday I had classes all day, and Wednesday ended up being much more packed than I had expected. In the morning, we had Eucharist in the campus chapel, then we had our 'class' meetings. Directly after our class meeting we had to go to our Advisee groups, which will continue to meet throughout the semester and finally I worked four more hours, from 1 to 5 this time.

On Thursday, after my class in the morning, I went to the library to go over all of the things I have to do. Readings, worksheets, quizzes, papers... it seemed like far too much. On top of that, half of the things I had to do weren't even things we had covered in class. I spent five to six hours in the library trying to make a dent in the massive amounts of schoolwork I had to get done, and left feeling like I hadn't managed much at all. Friday, I had to work all day, from 9 to 7, so I didn't have a chance to do any more of the work I had left.

That night I sat in my house, playing guitar and doing my best to keep my mind off of all that was left to be completed. I got to bed near midnight or 30 after, and the next morning, went back in to work for my three hour shift from 9 to 12. When I got home, I laid myself down in bed and got a little rest in before going back to the books. It was during this time that I was able to finally calm down and think clearly about what had to be done. I hadn't eaten since lunch the previous day, so the first thing I did was go down to the kitchen and eat. I then packed my stuff and walked down to the library. With my clearer state of mind, I allowed myself to focus on just one thing at a time. I decided only to work on my Early Church readings, which I would need to turn a quiz on before the next class for and not busy myself with anything else for the moment. I did about an hour of work, which got me through half of the required readings (I could only do this much because the library closes four hours earlier on Saturdays which I didn't know), and then I went home and studied the vocabulary for my Hebrew quiz this coming week.

Though I spent much less time doing my work, I felt much more accomplished than I had in my previous visit to the library. Divvying up the work allowed me to free myself of the hassle of the whole load, and focus on just a small portion of it at a time. Without the constant distraction of what else had to be done, I could take my time and do my work without worrying about what else had to be done. Today after church, I finished the readings I have for my Spiritual Formation class tomorrow, and will probably do some more later tonight for my Biblical Interpretation class. I will then finish up my Early Church readings tomorrow after class is finished, and not worry about my World Missions readings until after those are completed (it isn't until Thursday).

It's amazing how easy it is to be overwhelmed and how, with a little time and focus, those burdens can be chipped away at quite easily. I would like to say that this philosophy could apply to all of life. A lot of times we can only see the big picture of things; how everything is going wrong all the time. But worrying has never added a day to our lives, so it is important not to get too caught up by the pressures of all that needs to be done. Instead, we just need to take our burdens-- and life-- one step at a time. Complete the first task and then move on to the next. To know that trying to finish everything at once will only make things worse.

Also, it is important to rely on others to help you through the hard times. Having somebody else there for you can keep you sane long enough to figure out what needs to be done. Friday night, before going up to bed, my roommate came home and we talked for a good bit of time about all that I had to get done. Just having someone who would listen was help enough for me, and he also gave me encouragement to get through it. We must never forget that we have others around us to help along the way. And also that there are others who need our help as well.

This coming semester (and presumably the next three years) is not going to let up. I will continue to have this work schedule, and my class will only get more intense as time wears on. But, I must remember to take this one step at a time. I did not go to seminary to be burdened, but to learn and grow. It is easy to get caught up with the workload and only see what needs to get done. But, then I would forget the purpose behind these classes. My goal doesn't lie somewhere far beyond seminary, but within and through it.  This is not a trial on the way to my true calling, but a very integral part of that very calling. These are formative years, where my spiritual and intellectual understanding can reach new heights. But, if I only remain worried about what I need to do and not the reason behind why I am doing it, it will all be for naught. I will not have learned anything, but only received a degree; a piece of paper that says I went to school for the required number of hours.

Taken a step at a time, we can explore the depths of those things which we call burdens and see them as blessings-- or at the very least, as lessons we can carry with us the rest of our lives. All it takes is the focus and clarity that comes with a rational mindset. We must rest ourselves and come at them in a calmed manner, so that we can do all things-- one step at a time.

The Philosophy of Responsibility

Well, it's the end of my last week of Summer. I officially begin classes next Tuesday, as Labor Day is next Monday. I've so far memorized half of the Hebrew Alephbet, and made photocopies of the sections I need to read for Early Church History (selections from Clement and a chapter on the evolution of the early church).

To be entirely honest, I am ready to jump into things. Not only is the prospect of getting back into the classroom exciting to me, but this is what I've been waiting a year to accomplish. I am finally where I need to be and content with it. I did manage to nab a job working at the Credit Union around the corner. They employ seminarians regularly, and so are very flexible with their hours. Working there will also allow me to have nights off for studying or rest if needed.

The story of how I got the job is actually quite interesting. I turned in my application on a Thursday or Friday while the manager was out of town, so one of the other employees set it on her desk. When she returned at the end of the weekend, one of the tellers gave a two-week notice that she was leaving. Early that next week, I was called in for an interview, and accepted by that Thursday. I started working the following Monday full-time for training, and am about to finish my second full week of work. After this week, I will be working part-time to fit my class schedule. It really was a blessing for me to get this job, and I have done well so far. Tomorrow is going to be my longest shift (and one I will most likely end up working over the next semester). It is ten hours, from 9AM to 7(:30)PM. It's also the second of the month, which means everyone who got their Social Security checks will be coming in to cash out.

Being in a new place, and having a full-time (albeit temporarily) job has really revealed the burden of the responsibilities of adulthood. Having yet to receive my first paycheck, and yet considering all of the payment I will need to make over the coming months and years, I have had a lingering anxiety following me around. I know that all will be provided and that I am not in dire straits by any means, but there is still the peripheral fear that I will not be able to support myself over these next few years of schooling. I see that this fear is something that will always be there, continuing beyond graduation and into my adult life. Now, the question is what to do about that fear. I cannot allow it to consume me, nor can I ignore it. It requires acknowledgement and acceptance. But, it must not be given right to reign.

I think a major part of this fear is that responsibility will pull me away from fulfillment. With the mounting pressure of daily life's needs, it is easy to lose focus and just work on managing to "get by." Soon, that becomes enough, and the dreams we once had are thrown to the wayside. I hope to not fall into this trap, but to continue to seek fulfillment and get the most out of the life I have been given. We were not put on this earth simply to toil and tirelessly work toward sustainability. That has already been given to us. We need only God and his provisions. What we work for should be more than our own well-being. It should be for something beyond our material lives. What we must work toward are things spiritual and life-giving. Not the worries and stress that literally take that very life we are working for away from us. Now, this is much easier to say than to do, especially in such a blessed situation as my own, where my actual real-life responsibilities are admittedly limited. But, I don't think that should take away from the principle of the idea. What is the worth of a life lived only to live; only to keep breathing and have another day of the same pressure-filled routine? Life shouldn't be spent in fear, but in joy. The only way to find joy is to seek out fulfillment by that which fills all in all.

Again, this is not to say one should shirk all responsibilities and only go after that which they want. But, everything has it's own place in priority, and I don't think things which elicit fear should be at the top. I hope to maintain that focus and resolution, separating what I truly need from the temporary burdens. Eternal from the transient. The reason the Good Shepherd lays down his life is that his flock may have life abundant. It is our responsibility to follow that purpose, and do more than just live. There is a higher calling and greater purpose than what we can see right now. We are bludgeoned by all the disruptions of the world, but cannot let that turn our eyes downward. Troubles will come and distress will find its way in. But, as with all things, "this too shall pass." What we need is that which will not pass away. That is the love of God and the new life which he has made available to us through that love.

That said, the coming semester in seminary, though daunting, carries a new excitement in me for things to come. My experiences and revelations throughout this process will undoubtedly shape who I am for the rest of my life. I am sure to meet new friends and forge bonds that will last a lifetime. Hopefully, I will also be able to sharpen my focus on that which truly matters, and not be controlled by fear, but driven by joy.